The New Year is traditionally a time when people take stock of their lives and look to make a fresh start.

Sadly, for many married couples who have been experiencing difficulties in their relationships, it can be a time when they decide the only way forward is for them to separate. Family lawyers always receive a surge in inquiries at this time of year from people wanting to begin divorce proceedings.

It’s a traumatic time for all concerned. As well as the emotional upheaval there are numerous practical matters to consider such as what arrangements will be made for the children and how joint assets will be shared out.

Emotion and bitterness can often cloud issues but both partners will do themselves a big favour if they try to be honest and reasonable right from the outset. It’s not uncommon for people to dig their heels in and complicate matters but it rarely does much good. In the end, the courts will impose a settlement, if necessary, which is fair to both sides.

Each partner should realise that as a general principle, everything they own irrespective of where it came from will be regarded as part of their joint assets to be shared out. The law also works from the starting point that these assets should be shared out equally unless there are good reasons to justify an alternative split.

Many people try to tip the balance in their favour by concealing their assets or squirreling money away in a secret bank account. The other partner can try to counter this financial infidelity by keeping copies of bank statements and similar documents whenever possible. If they suspect that their partner is concealing assets they should inform their solicitor so those assets can be frozen and included in the divorce settlement.

Some people think they can circumvent the system by putting money into their pension but that won’t work either as pensions are now considered as part of the pot to share out.

For most couples, the most valuable asset will be the family home. Sometimes it may have to be sold so the proceeds can be divided; sometimes it’s possible for one party to remain there in return for concessions in other parts of the settlement.

There could be an issue if the family home is in only one partner’s name. If this is the case then your solicitor may need to register a caution against the property so that your partner can’t sell until the divorce proceedings are settled.

Joint bank accounts and credit cards will have to be cancelled and replaced by individual accounts. Wills should be revised as each party makes a clean break and reassesses how they want to provide for their loved ones in the future.

Most couples try to reach amicable arrangements over the children but where this is not possible then mediation may help. A trained mediator can act as an honest broker enabling a couple to overcome stumbling blocks. Mediation can also help couples to remain on good terms, which is the best approach in the long term, especially if children are involved. 

If a couple still can’t agree then they may need to go to court. They should realise, however, that a court will always try to do what is best for the child rather than what may seem best for the parents.

It’s unlikely that divorce can ever be easy but couples can save themselves a lot of stress if they are prepared to act reasonably and get professional advice from the beginning to ensure a fair settlement.