Christmas and other holiday periods should be among the happiest times of a child’s life but sadly they are often marred by divorced and separated parents arguing over access rights.

Tensions between couples often come to the fore at this time of year but it’s the children who are likely to suffer the most as they find themselves at the centre of a tug-of-war between mum and dad.  

The most common dispute is over where the children will spend Christmas Day.

Fathers who don’t see their children very often throughout the year want to make up for it at Christmas when they’re off work, but mothers can resent handing the children over at such a special time.

We often get calls from parents just a few days before Christmas asking for an urgent court application because their partner is refusing to co-operate. These kind of hasty, last-minute actions can create tremendous stress.

Court action should only be a last resort. The best approach is to reach an amicable agreement, preferably weeks if not months in advance. That reduces stress and if it is necessary to seek legal advice or mediation then it can be done in plenty of time so there’s no sense of panic which can often filter through to the children. 

Many parents agree to take turns in having the children over the Christmas period. Others have them for a few days each. It doesn’t matter how you divide the time up as long as it is fair and done in the child’s best interest.

It’s best to keep arrangements as simple as possible and avoid handovers on Christmas Day itself when children are likely to be excited and pre-occupied with their presents. Parents should ask themselves if they want their children to remember Christmas as something magical or as a time of bitter conflict between mum and dad.

We are happy to advise parents about access rights to children, and we can act as mediators when couples find it difficult to reach an agreement.